Why “Tapelutopia” ?

I know some are wondering about the name, or may ask in the future, so I’ll fill you in. Many years ago, in one of the darkest & hardest times of our marriage, we went to marriage counseling. During a session, our therapist asked us to think of a time when we were at our best, not perfection but healthy. To name it and remember that “time” so that when we were at odds or in the thick of a bad cycle, that that is the place we wanted to get back to. It was a place in our marriage that would remind us of a very real/tangible goal and that not all hope was lost. I suppose it could be said we weren’t ever super healthy even though we didn’t realize it, but maybe I’ll tell that story another time. So, in thinking of a time when we were as healthy as we could be, we decided to name that time or future time “Tapelutopia.” It was not a Utopia of perfection but a healthy version of us, at our best, in who we are and what we knew our marriage was to reflect. It was to be for us our “goal” of what we wanted and what we knew we could be.

So Tapelutopia has come and gone in our nearly 10 years of marriage, but it’s always been there. When we have submitted ourselves first to God, then to one another, we have enjoyed the beautiful gift that is marriage. It’s our “sweet spot” where we fight fair, give grace more than judgement, love without conditions and don’t keep score cards.

*Story time that correlates to Tapelutopia*

I was out with a friend a few weeks ago and while I was sharing about our family and life I started talking about Kopo and began crying. I was hit with how unbelievably blessed I was that the Lord had given Him to me as my forever partner in life, a true best friend. That this last 8mo together I have gotten to know him in ways I never had before & had gotten to see his leadership as a husband and father grow. The way he leads with such grace and compassion, how he hears from the Lord, encourages & gently convicts me through the prompting of the Holy Spirit. He pushes me to be better, a better mum, a better wife, a better friend – He challenges me to not sell myself short & sees and calls out the gifting in me when all I see is failure. I am grateful to be married to him and get to know him in a different way. All day every day together and there’s no one else I’d rather spend all my time with. I told him when I got home about crying in the cafe & thanked him for all he is to me and our family.

A few weeks later we were driving & Kopo began sharing what God had put on his heart regarding us being here and this special season we are in. How we thought it was to come get baby (of course) and have time together as a family, but also it was a time of healing for us. A time of healing and restoration for our marriage and areas we didn’t even realize still needed mending. What a gracious God we serve, to give us time together to heal, to love, to refresh, to just rest in Him ❤️🙌🏾

We have truly experienced God to the fullest that we’ve ever known Him & my prayer is that we continue to enjoy this season and not take any of these precious moments for granted. It is FAR from perfection, but that’s not what I want anyway, I’d rather a healthy, healing and whole relationship that keeps me focused on Christ & clinging to Him always. Tapelutopia is ultimately when we reflect the goodness of God & His redemption in our marriage, it is living out repentance, forgiveness, grace & mercy every single day.

“Not to us, O Lord, not to us,

But to Your name give glory

Because of Your lovingkindness, because of Your truth.”

Psalm 115:1 NASB1995