Monday Monday…

This morning I woke up and was all ready to conquer the day – until I wasn’t and it all went downhill rather quickly. I was trying to get outside to workout and it was just painstaking to try and get it to happen. I was cranky. The girls were cranky. Kopo put on headphones and tuned it all out 🙄 I was desperately searching for my AirPods so I could tune it out too 🤣 unfortunately I couldn’t find them, still haven’t found them and I’m sure I’ll find them sometime this week when I don’t need them.

By the time I FINALLY made it outside and strapped Angelita Joy in the stroller to walk around, she was over it and I knew I wouldn’t enjoy a screeching 2yo while trying to walk and clear my head 😆 decided on a HIIT workout on YouTube, which was great until I couldn’t take being eaten alive by the mosquitos and decided to head inside and workout in the playroom/storage/hide all the clothes if people come over room 😂 I know I know, I should start a homemakers blog for more great tips yea??

Anyway, Angelita Joy has been in a screaming stage & I almost stopped my workout to go deal with it. Instead, I locked the door and continued despite everything in me wanting to just give in and throw myself a pity party while being resentful I didn’t get my workout in. Whew, I don’t want to do that. Have I done that before? I’m embarrassed to admit I have. I’ve let my emotions decide my day and it’s exhausting. Learning to feel it all and process through my emotions instead of shutting down or numbing has been such a journey – filled with many victories and days I’d rather not live again. I haven’t mastered it, yet my bad days haven’t stopped me from starting fresh again, even if I call for a do-over in the middle of the day.

It can be tempting to write only on days I’m feeling good or to only share the highlight reel of my life and out family, but that’s not reality. All of it matters & all of it is real and every day I screw up and get a chance (or multiple chances) to get it right or at least get it better than the last time. And isn’t that the beauty of life? Especially life as a Christian. We are forgiven. We are loved. We are accepted. It’s easy to share those truths with others, yet so much harder for me to accept for myself. I am so undeserving of the love & grace that God lavishes on me daily, yet He does it and continues to despite my cranky moods. I want to show my girls the grace that God shows me, I want them to see redemption in our home. I don’t want them to ever feel like I demand perfection, that they need to clean up before I’ll help them – that’s not realistic and the opposite of how God deals with me. I pray that I will always be willing to admit my mistakes and never think I could live this life – marriage, parenting, any area without the leading of the Holy Spirit. That I’d be quick to repent and ask forgiveness for my sin, that no matter how many times I mess up with my girls that they see I’ll never be too proud to admit my mistakes and ask their forgiveness.

Today’s post was kinda all over the place but I’m not gonna try and clean it up – I want to remember these days. These lessons. These messy, imperfect entries. I’m grateful that not only are His mercies new every morning, but all throughout the day. I don’t have to wait til tomorrow to begin again – it starts now, just before noon. Plenty of day still left to rejoice in the Lord & in ALL He is. He is so good 🙌🏾 Cheers to Monday – or whatever day it is in your part of the world 🌍